Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
