Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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