I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
