They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
