The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize