i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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