She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
