Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
