if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
