Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
