I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
