Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
