I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
