In the future we'll all be gay
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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