I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
