i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
