Joe is yelling at the trees again.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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