im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
