You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize