You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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