Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
