so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
