Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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