even my farts smell like vagina
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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