is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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