My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Drunk is a universal language darling
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