i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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