you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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