just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
