There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
