I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
