Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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