She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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