I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize