i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
