Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize