i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
