I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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