The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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