i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Two words: blizzard sex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
