Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize