We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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