its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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