Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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