Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
