so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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