you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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