Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she pinky promised me she was 18
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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