i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
