It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You're like the curious george of whores
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
