This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
