Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
