i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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