theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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