He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
