her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
