Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
