and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
