There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
