Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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